Nov 9

 Jeremiah 31-33

Reflections:

After reading chapter 31-32, it feels like my current life arc is exiling in Babylon. and now it's when God plans to bring me back out of the wilderness again. Life arc feels like Israel, spin and spin in the wilderness looking for meaning, but actually is God grooming in very painful ways. For a long time, I used to think if I don't go making bold prayers like "send me to the ends of the earth" and all that what-nots, I won't have to go do it. Now? I feel like there is no difference to it. And I feel very stretched thin. Not for what God didn't do, but what people are, and what they do. I thought to myself for sometime, it would be so much better and easier if I retreat away from humans, away from people. Do work, have a career that doesn't require human interaction because it is so exhausting.

Another thing I noticed, is God asking his people to call out to him to deliver them. Now as I look at it, I understand the significance of this. When all is going south, or upside-down, calling out to God for help is the hardest, because my human heart is full of doubt, full of fear, and not wanting to let go of control. The mind keeps trying to find solutions and keeps trying to solve things on its own, though it knows being still is the answer.

Jeremiah 31:20

Is Ephraim my dear son?
    Is he my darling child?
For as often as I speak against him,
    I do remember him still.
Therefore my heart[b] yearns for him;
    I will surely have mercy on him,
declares the Lord.

Jeremiah 33 is even more dramatic. it is God promising loads of stuff to Jeremiah while he is locked up in prison by the guards that does not believe in what he said. Not just that, he also knows the time of reckoning is about to come, when Israel will be taken to Babylon. I wonder what kind of perseverances does he holds, when he hears what God says. how on earth does he even believe what God has told him in those circumstances.

Nov 8

 Jeremiah 25 - 30

Reflections:

I just called Eden again to tell him about the landlord's position and all, and Eden still continues to deny being privy to all of it. What is more? Is Eden saying that since the lawyer failed to add it into the TnC, he doesn't need to bother about it. But as I was sleeping, I had a very disturbing dream of a baby deer that is burning up from the inside.Because it ate charcoal, and then is dying from inside out. We brought the mother to see the baby deer, and it was very heart wrecking as in our hearts, we know time will run out very soon. When I woke up, I felt God saying, that deer is Eden. So I called him not to reprimand him, but to try and help him see sense. But he priorities money instead of being correct. Finances instead of being right with the law and with our own bible principles. at that moment, I know the "deer" has swallowed it's last charcoal, and there is nothing I can do, so I politely ended the call.

Same time, as I was reading continuation of Jeremiah 25 - 27, it shows God being kind enough to warn the people of Israel that he will wipe them, and ask of them to repent. giving them time to turn back to him, though unfortunately, they did not.

Then as I read Jeremiah 28-29, it talks about the false prophets that came about, and how God dealt retribution to each and everyone of them.

Lastly, Jeremiah 30 was the restoration.

I thought and reflected upon it, feels like the cycle of calamity, and sin. it has to be exposed, and a time of altar call, turning back, reflections and change/transformation must happen which is probably what I am going through now. Learning what mistakes I made when dealing with Eden, and also learning how to be clean and blameless in everything I do, with God's strength.

Nov 7

 Jeremiah 20-24

12. O Lord of hosts, who tests the righteous,
    who sees the heart and the mind,[a]
let me see your vengeance upon them,
    for to you have I committed my cause.

reflections:

its always the days before a big crisis where my bible reading starts to slack, and then life starts going haywire for me. And then after that, my core starts going upside down again. This week was the same. I didn't read my bible for nearly 3 weeks, and then haywire starts happening on the 3rd week. Where Eden, my buyer decided to go rogue, and not pay for parts that he agreed upon, it is causing loads of stress in me. I can't even tell what is causing me stress, the fact that I trusted him as a friend? Or the part where I went out of my way to help him? Or was I too into securing the deal that I compromise myself? At this point I feel like I no longer know. Oh God, please look at me, your servant who has tried his best to be faithful, and look at the enemies around me who tries to snuff me out, who tries to take advantage of my kindness. Please look at these people who has my blood on their hands, who tries to bend me around and manipulate me. Please vindicate me, Do not let my enemies drown me out. Protect what you have given to me, what you have promised me. Do not let these evil men triumph and stand victorious while having taken advantage of my kindness and slander my name.

Oh God, my personality is the embodiment of kindness and joy, but today what Eden has done has made me downcast and abandoned. I feel like the world has closed out, along with your favor. Come back and vindicate me, do not leave me out here to dry. Stand for me and fight my battles. I have been righteous before you. I have tried my best, gave my best to my brethren. Someone whom I used to break bread, invite to my house, laugh together, and share sufferings together. Now he has turned against me, his folly and seeking of money has made him turn this way. Please look to me and vindicate me. Do not let this go unpunished. Do not let his slander on me go free.

Oct 22

 Jeremiah 19 

Personal reflections.

Today was one of the hardest test of patience of the week. at 2pm - 5pm, I had 3 people coming to drain my work time, 1 was my rookie recruit, another my wife, and another my friend. all texting/calling. Either ranting, or being scattered minded. I nearly lost my patience and at one point, was ok with my recruit walking. Then I inhaled and prayed in tongues,

Oct 21

 Jeremiah 18 

Jeremiah 18 is a big reminder of the power of God, that he can do anything he likes whenever and wherever. the porter and the clay illustration wasn't just to say God molds us, but also to say destiny and fate are all in his hands. Also, this verse is one of them where again, God compares sinners to adultery, people who are unfaithful to their spouse.

Oct 19 2025

 Jeremiah 11 -  17

Chapter 11: This chapter talks about Israel breaking the covenants that God set with them generations before them. I found it interesting, because usually, we talk about generational curses and all that, but this one seems to say something else instead. It talks about a generational contract that was being broken. Or even bigger, a generational covenant that was being broken. And also the graciousness of God to allow renewal of that covenant as long as we turn back to him.

between chapter 12 -17, there's a lot of back and forth of the sins of what Israel committed, and a lot of punishment dishing out. but also, a lot of forgiveness and asking of his people to return. it is heart breaking to see God reached his limits.

1st Oct 2025

 Jeremiah 1- 10

Chapter 1

8-10, this one is probably one of the most commonly used verses I hear when people talk about the power of youth. Now as I read it, I start to wonder if it is out of context, as the main theme in this message is God is alllll powerful, and capable in getting what he wants done through anyone. more relevant is probably God qualifies the faithful.

12, "watching over my word to perform it" almost as though God holds his own Bible up as a manual. Even he refers to his own bible. 

18 this verse strikes as interesting, because it pretty much is Jeremiah is invincible because he does God's work. 

Reading chapter 2 - 4, speaks greatly of how God is merciful. you know what stood out to me the most? God likening his people to a whore, but instead of casting her out, getting rid of her, he calls her to come back, will restore to her the glory he once had for her, completely forgiving her. this.... is jaw dropping.