16/9/2025

 Bible reading: Isaiah 30 - 35

Reflections:

Today I had among one of the weirdest nightmares, I dreamed of being back in Kluang, but among company that I do not know of. The only person whom I knew was my wife, but the said company seems to have connections with my wife. They knew the 2 of us, and we seem to also know all of them, but the people present were of all different types. 

Then suddenly my ex (Jenny) appeared, and she kept causing trouble (that type I do not remember anymore, but I also remember her not wanting to leave, but I do not remember what she said and quarreled with me about. I also remember everyone there felt very awkward with her around. After she caused a scene, I forgot what I did to please her, but after doing it, she seems to have felt she has won, and then she left. If I remember correctly, there was also another person around with her, who left with her. During the time she was here, a lot of turmoil and drama between me and my wife start to surface. I cannot recall if at that point of time, we are married already or not. After she left, a friend (that seems to identify as her teacher/lecturer/ someone in authority over her in the past) came up and say that she was a very difficult character, a number of people also came up and spoke on my behalf helping me calm down my wife/gf. 

After they spoke on my behalf, then things calmed down between me and my gf ( I think I now understand that Valerie in that dream is only my gf?) Then we went to the window side, and there was another couple there (seems to know Valerie) and we asked them if a car (ex) has drove of, to which they said yes. And then I explained the situation, to which the girl lying down on the bed (black girl) also acknowledge understanding the situation, having went through a similar toxic situation before.

I think the reason why I am having this dream is a showing of my subconscious mind, that I am still worried this past is affecting my current relationship. Then which when I woke up, I quickly prayed a prayer of forgiveness over myself, asking God to forgive me for I haven't let go of my past, to forgive me of my stubbornness to go for that past, and to help me forgive myself and let go. Right then, wife woke up and comfort me. I still feel affected, but now I can remind myself it is all in the past.