Nov 9

 Jeremiah 31-33

Reflections:

After reading chapter 31-32, it feels like my current life arc is exiling in Babylon. and now it's when God plans to bring me back out of the wilderness again. Life arc feels like Israel, spin and spin in the wilderness looking for meaning, but actually is God grooming in very painful ways. For a long time, I used to think if I don't go making bold prayers like "send me to the ends of the earth" and all that what-nots, I won't have to go do it. Now? I feel like there is no difference to it. And I feel very stretched thin. Not for what God didn't do, but what people are, and what they do. I thought to myself for sometime, it would be so much better and easier if I retreat away from humans, away from people. Do work, have a career that doesn't require human interaction because it is so exhausting.

Another thing I noticed, is God asking his people to call out to him to deliver them. Now as I look at it, I understand the significance of this. When all is going south, or upside-down, calling out to God for help is the hardest, because my human heart is full of doubt, full of fear, and not wanting to let go of control. The mind keeps trying to find solutions and keeps trying to solve things on its own, though it knows being still is the answer.

Jeremiah 31:20

Is Ephraim my dear son?
    Is he my darling child?
For as often as I speak against him,
    I do remember him still.
Therefore my heart[b] yearns for him;
    I will surely have mercy on him,
declares the Lord.

Jeremiah 33 is even more dramatic. it is God promising loads of stuff to Jeremiah while he is locked up in prison by the guards that does not believe in what he said. Not just that, he also knows the time of reckoning is about to come, when Israel will be taken to Babylon. I wonder what kind of perseverances does he holds, when he hears what God says. how on earth does he even believe what God has told him in those circumstances.