jan 26

 Zechariah 1 - 5

Reflections:

As I read these 5 chapters, what comes to mind is my current walk. How it has progressed through out the years. How I struggled, never gave up, how certain days was worse than others. The book... is one of the most floaty I have ever read. The visions... don't feel relevant, and a lot of it... I can't really apply. But after reading the 5 chapters, I feel at peace, and there is less worry in my head, like something cleared up. Even the restlessness and the insomnia all gave way. Weird thing is it's early in the morning, so I don't think I can sleep again.

Jan 25

 Habakkuk, Zephaniah & Haggai

Reflections:

Today is one of those days where everything goes south. The whole week probably... nothing went right. I quarreled with Valerie the whole week, my sleeping schedule and time table got messed up, I struggle to even secure deals.. Everything went South. Today is one of those days where I wonder what on earth am I doing, what on earth is going on, and is God even with me, am I doing something wrong, why is nothing going right, am I supposed to pivot into something else, am I supposed to push on, what is going on. There's like no stability in my life, no consistency or constant. Everyday is like fire fighting. Everyday is like reinventing, and it is so exhausting. The whole real estate career is full of more downs than ups. I am wondering where did I go wrong, am I not enough, what did I not do right... I am.. in such a mess.

Jan 20

 Nahum 1 - 3

Reflections:

As I reflect on these books that talks about the destruction of Nineveh, I find a very interesting contrast between them and Jonah, and also more that the book came closely to each other. I now think I can identify with Jonah even more. It wasn't just that he was running away, he had every reason to be bitter against Nineveh as well. This is the capital of Assyria, and God ask him to go and preach salvation to them. In a way, it is like asking someone to forgive their worse enemy. as I reflect on the book of Jonah, the bitterness that Jonah shown towards Nineveh, I start to feel like I understand where he is coming from. And it is not like God doesn't feel unhappy towards them either, as I read about their destruction, I can see that God himself was upset too. The book describe it as God will not let the guilty go unpunished. 

I look at it and see that when men become prideful and think of themselves as higher than God or with potential to become independent, then God comes in swinging. I also noticed that Egypt was cited, also noting that Egypt became a nation used as example as well. Another thing to note is this is before the Babylonian nation becoming a powerhouse. Context that it was also the period where God is long sufferingly tolerating Israel, but also, Israel's timeline hasn't reach its worse point. They however continued to reign for many many centuries before finally getting hammered down.

Jan 19

 Micah 4 - 7

Reflections:

These chapters, as I read it, it feels like the prophet is talking about the coming of Jesus. A fair amount of narratives dedicated to that. From Bethlehem, rise up to shepherd like no other. And the tone used for it. But to it I also can see why Judaism mistakes it as a savior that comes for war. because after that, right after that, God talks about slaughtering the Assyrians.

Jan 17

 Micah 1 - 3

Reflection.

The 1 that stuck out to me most is chapter 2. most recently, I had a dealing in real estate where the buyer is a christian, and a really difficult one at that too. The property was purchase for the purposes of investment. I helped him negotiated a good deal, but he still wanted more. Wanted to come out with ways to reduce his downpayment. and the mistake I made was helping him. I helped him get a marked up loan for the property where the landlord sells at a higher valuation, and the buyer pays a certain portion of the marked up valuation as mark-up fees to the landlord. But when the deal goes through and the property changes hands to the buyer, the buyer does not want to pay up for his part of the deal, and backs out, leaving a very sticky situation between him and the vendor. In fact, this thing also happened between him and the lawyer and banker where after they finished half the work, he backs out not wanting to pay them, and initiate connections with another lawyer. And now as I read chapter 2, I find comfort that it says God will judge him, by removing the fortunes and profits given to him. I don't know how, but I do know it will be done fairly. Same time, from this I also learn... I will not a gain conform to doing deals like this ever again.

Jan 16

 Obadiah

Reflection:

this book.... is probably 1 of the shortest of the Old Testament... and I got very little from it. the only thing I feel like it is implying to me is that it is do not take revenge or look down upon fellow christian brothers and sisters, also do not rejoice in their short comings or fall, if not, it will happen to me to.

Jonah: 1- 4

Reflections

As I grow older, this book becomes less and less of my favorite book. I start liking it less and less, probably because Jonah himself is a personality that... I don't like. but what he does, are things that I myself have done.

What amazes me most in chapter 1 is the people who were in the boat with Jonah. they did not want to kill him even though they know he was running away from God. in fact, they tried their best to save him, by trying to row to shore. This... I was impressed by, because it is pretty much what mercy I think looks like, but of course it didn't work out because God has a plan. And before they throw the fella into the sea, they prayed to God asking for mercy to not take it on them for the life of Jonah. Another thing that interest me is, they know God, though they do not pray to him. And also? after that? they pray to God and worshipped him. though I am not sure if they recognize God as the God we know, or whether he is just an immensely powerful God.

Then chapter 2 was equally amusing. As Jonah repented and submitted to God, God told the fish, ok. He has finally repented. Your job is done, you can spit him out now. LOL! 

Jan 15

 Amos 5 - 9

reflections:

As I read through Amos, something dawns on me, the Old Testament books, especially those nearing the end, all have this same sing songish style where the writer writes about how Israel has fallen. Every single one of them only writes about Israel. Got me wondering, as of old, the other nations do not know God? every single prophet only came from Israel, and I remember yes, that God intended for Israel to be a beacon of light swimming in the middle of a sea of ignorance. And this falling of Israel is always a result of them sinning against God. same time, their success and gains are also from the result of following God closely. I reflect on this, and it also got me thinking about the world's narrative... and that is it equates failure to a lack of results from self instead of sinning against God, or the lack of representation of the fruit of the spirit. The fruit of the spirit that brings about Christ-likeness, also is the same one that brings about excellence and thoughtfulness, which in turn, brings about success. I pondered on this bit for a while more, as I read though seeing more references to what have came to mind.

" herefore because you trample on[b] the poor

    and you exact taxes of grain from him,
you have built houses of hewn stone,
    but you shall not dwell in them;
you have planted pleasant vineyards,
    but you shall not drink their wine.
12 For I know how many are your transgressions
    and how great are your sins—
you who afflict the righteous, who take a bribe,

    and turn aside the needy in the gate.

Also then I see the discarding of worship. not by men, but by God. and not because he doesn't want them to stop worshipping, but the worship they present to him is starting to look disgusting. 

“I hate, I despise your feasts,
    and I take no delight in your solemn assemblies.
22 Even though you offer me your burnt offerings and grain offerings,
    I will not accept them;
and the peace offerings of your fattened animals,
    I will not look upon them.
23 Take away from me the noise of your songs;
    to the melody of your harps I will not listen.
24 But let justice roll down like waters,
    and righteousness like an ever-flowing stream.

I am lastly reminded that God does not like it when we claim to accomplish things in our own strength.

Jan 14

Amos 1 - 4

reflections

In chapter 1 to 2, where God pronounces judgment onto everyone, as I read on, it looks a lot like when Ezekiel where God also pronounced a lot of judgment on different nations. the first thing that I noticed is the line "Amos is among the shepherds" This is consistent with a lot of different prophets and people that is being called. They can come from literally anywhere, and are of any form of origin be it humble or rich. Also, the type of career that they have can be of any form.

The books another book about judgment and punishment, but as I read chapter 2, I can't help it but feel like the bits written about Judah and Israel, this one feels like it is meant for the Christians to hear, because it is targeted at the group that understands, knows God's law, but does not act upon it.

One of the most consistent bit I feel about how God states out why and how he will punish Israel is based on his expectations onto Israel because much has been given. and when much has been given, much too will be expected.

Jan 12

 Joel 1 - 3

Reflections:

As I read this, I feel spoken to off my situation, where I am struggling with my business, that it is not taking off, and I have had my fair share of bad partners and lazy teammates, struggles with humans who promised 1, but ended up not delivering anything. I feel so weary that I am not sure what I am passionate about anymore. I want to be motivated and fired up about work, but I feel meaningless, like despite whatever success I am getting, or whatever I am faced with, I don't feel like doing it not because I don't want to, but because I feel so empty about it. Like it doesn't go anywhere, like it is an aimless endeavor, and I think Israel felt the same way when they see their nation being ravaged by multiple different empires. I also understand the feeling where Israel would be tempted to feel helpless and unsafe when everyone around them seems way stronger, more powerful, more successful compared to them. Babylon, Assyria, Egypt, Persia, Rome... each way more successful, and grand compared to what they are, and in comparison, they are so small. Often I too will have the doubt wondering if God will really enable me to do so, will God really come through, and if God is really all that powerful. And the only counter is I kept on reminding myself of the past deeds that God has done, and how consistent he has been in helping me, and that the only 1 inconsistent has been me. So now I want to make sure I do not forget this, and I will constantly remind myself to keep my eyes looking forward and not be affected by my feelings. I want to be able to stone the part that I feel fear, or push through it without worry. I think the best way to go through it is to share my testimonies when I am most worried or fearful, or when I am most ashamed about what I want to say.

January 11

 Hosea 11 - 13

Reflections:

Chapter 11 -13 gives me the contrast of how someone feels betrayed yet still loves that person. I know how this one feels like... it is the exact feeling to a marriage. The feeling of like someone went to far, but at the same time, the heart goes soft for that person. The mentioned of "how can I do that to ...." that is a verse that I can make sense of and resonate with.

Jan 9

 Hosea 4 - 10

reflections:

from 4 - 10, these parts gives me the feeling that I also get from Ezekiel and Jeremiah. like God has given up on Israel. It also gives me the feeling that if I sin too much, or if sin has become too prevalent or too enduring in a place, the corruption in result will make God leave, or abandon the place out of (for the lack of a better word) frustration. 

January 4 & 5

Jan 4

 Daniel 10-12

These bits are about Daniel and his visions. I find it very weird because I quite enjoyed his visions and the thought processes that God put on him. I also like how God showed different empires come and go, rise in power, and then fell apart. So I don't get why does Daniel feel afraid or downcast by it. I also don't get why does he go into mourning for 3 weeks nonetheless. 

But what really catches my eye also is the last chapter, I think that one is in reference to Jesus coming in person to talk to him. At first Gabriel was the one communicating with him, but later, I realised the 2nd character, was given no name, and his role is also to make known knowledge to Daniel, but more importantly is Daniel's posture of worship before him, thus I think that character is Yeshua, the word. 

Jan 5

Hosea 1 - 3

The story of Hosea puzzles me a lot. probably it is one of the most puzzling bible chapters of them all. I get that God wanna use him to illustrate a point, but of all things why wanna use marriage? Then the word of God came to me, and I understood that marriage is the most sacred of all relationships and covenants. it's the highest, and longest most enduring form of contract, and it is not just made between men and women, but God and men. My wife asked me before we got married, what is the purpose of marriage? and to be honest, till now I still cannot answer her. But I feel like I am coming close to getting an idea. It is the concept of establishing relationships of long term to go beyond just sexuality and partnership. it is the innate human nature to find bonds that will last them for eternity or a lifetime, for God said it is not good to be alone. Also, I think marriage is the closest way God can use to symbolize his relationship with men, thus using marriage in a lot of his illustrations. 

and then using it to illustrate the faithlessness that Israel has towards God, and God's long term faithfulness towards Israel. It is here I think I get the general misconception that God is an angry God. many Christians try and rebut this by saying God is not an angry God, but here I will differ and say if one is married to a spouse who does betrayal the way it is described here, it is not possible to remain unangered. Not just the betrayal, but the injustice and failed-ness in it all. it is one thing where spouses already hurt each other bad, but in this case, one party has done everything right, while the other failed. it is in this situation where I think anger is not just justified, but necessary to denote justice.

Jan 1

 Daniel 7- 9

Chapter 7

this is one of the first prophetic chapters. As I read it, I feel like its talking about the end times, and that the last kingdom, the last beast that is being referenced, that one will come out in my time, and will be the last beast that will give me trouble and headache. it seems like the type of beast that will be purposely created to challenge us christians in our belief and trust in God. 

Chapter 8

the thing that caught my eye is the date. King Belshazzar period. this is during the period where Daniel was in the middle of the Babylonian rule. this one amuse me even more, it is the part where God revealed to Daniel the downfall of the Babylonian rule, and then the downfall of the Persian rule which is much after his time, followed by the downfall of the greek rule. But what had me curious..... the relevance of revealing the Babylonian rule's downfall to Daniel I can understand, because he is involved in it. But the Persians down fall and greek downfall? why does God reveal it to him? it is centuries after his time. And due to the revelation, Daniel fall sick, and was even troubled by it. But I got a feeling, this is the kinda things that Daniel loves knowing. especially because he is recognized as a sage, or a "spiritual knowledge knower in his time. so God revealed this kind of information to him, not just for him to tell everyone, but probably for pleasure.

Another part I found interesting, he got Gabriel to explain it to him instead of Jesus. Usually explaining visions and words up to this point I have found to be the work of Christ. but this time round, it was the messenger who was tasked with this role. 

Chapter 9

this part to me is also puzzling. not the part of confession and asking for revival, that part is consistent. but the part that is about why Daniel felt that God's hand of judgment is on Israel. it is the period where Medes and Persia conquered Babylon, so I would think this is the period there should be joy? also this is the period where the people of Israel, the exiles get to go back to Israel. somewhere around this period. so curious I feel.

Chapter 10

Dec 29

 Daniel 6 - 

reflection.

This is another one of those "exploits  of Daniel" parts of the bible that is most commonly quoted when people want to say "do something radical for God. I used to listen to it avidly, but now... I feel like it is under studied. there haven't been enough development or breaking down what could be found behind these scriptures.

As I read it, I see a political manipulation that we would generally see everyday. Some bunch of people felt jealous because their room for growth and space is being invaded, then they decided to oust the person that is hindering them, namely Daniel, and the way they plot is meant to dethrone him. But interestingly the plot hinges on making Daniel fail to obey God, or treat God... as God? 

So the true challenge I believe is more than just "are you scared to pray to God when persecution starts." Because how Daniel got caught.... is by praying 3 times a day, meaning, he is not even hiding, not even reducing his volume. Which I think is interesting. Daniel's a smart man, so when he heard of what happened, I am quite sure he would have had contingency plans, but he didn't use any of it, so I felt like there is something else that he is trying to do, but can't deduce what.