Jan 12

 Joel 1 - 3

Reflections:

As I read this, I feel spoken to off my situation, where I am struggling with my business, that it is not taking off, and I have had my fair share of bad partners and lazy teammates, struggles with humans who promised 1, but ended up not delivering anything. I feel so weary that I am not sure what I am passionate about anymore. I want to be motivated and fired up about work, but I feel meaningless, like despite whatever success I am getting, or whatever I am faced with, I don't feel like doing it not because I don't want to, but because I feel so empty about it. Like it doesn't go anywhere, like it is an aimless endeavor, and I think Israel felt the same way when they see their nation being ravaged by multiple different empires. I also understand the feeling where Israel would be tempted to feel helpless and unsafe when everyone around them seems way stronger, more powerful, more successful compared to them. Babylon, Assyria, Egypt, Persia, Rome... each way more successful, and grand compared to what they are, and in comparison, they are so small. Often I too will have the doubt wondering if God will really enable me to do so, will God really come through, and if God is really all that powerful. And the only counter is I kept on reminding myself of the past deeds that God has done, and how consistent he has been in helping me, and that the only 1 inconsistent has been me. So now I want to make sure I do not forget this, and I will constantly remind myself to keep my eyes looking forward and not be affected by my feelings. I want to be able to stone the part that I feel fear, or push through it without worry. I think the best way to go through it is to share my testimonies when I am most worried or fearful, or when I am most ashamed about what I want to say.