Jeremiah 20-24
12. O Lord of hosts, who tests the righteous,
who sees the heart and the mind,[a]
let me see your vengeance upon them,
for to you have I committed my cause.
reflections:
its always the days before a big crisis where my bible reading starts to slack, and then life starts going haywire for me. And then after that, my core starts going upside down again. This week was the same. I didn't read my bible for nearly 3 weeks, and then haywire starts happening on the 3rd week. Where Eden, my buyer decided to go rogue, and not pay for parts that he agreed upon, it is causing loads of stress in me. I can't even tell what is causing me stress, the fact that I trusted him as a friend? Or the part where I went out of my way to help him? Or was I too into securing the deal that I compromise myself? At this point I feel like I no longer know. Oh God, please look at me, your servant who has tried his best to be faithful, and look at the enemies around me who tries to snuff me out, who tries to take advantage of my kindness. Please look at these people who has my blood on their hands, who tries to bend me around and manipulate me. Please vindicate me, Do not let my enemies drown me out. Protect what you have given to me, what you have promised me. Do not let these evil men triumph and stand victorious while having taken advantage of my kindness and slander my name.
Oh God, my personality is the embodiment of kindness and joy, but today what Eden has done has made me downcast and abandoned. I feel like the world has closed out, along with your favor. Come back and vindicate me, do not leave me out here to dry. Stand for me and fight my battles. I have been righteous before you. I have tried my best, gave my best to my brethren. Someone whom I used to break bread, invite to my house, laugh together, and share sufferings together. Now he has turned against me, his folly and seeking of money has made him turn this way. Please look to me and vindicate me. Do not let this go unpunished. Do not let his slander on me go free.
