I shared the conviction of one of my close friends to another good friend of mine. It still puzzles me how people under the same God, same church, same ministry, can reject each others conviction as though it is false preaching. Being a 3rd party to the whole issue, I don't wholly agree with the conviction or drive for change in that area. But I can see where the desire and passion of it arise from.
I was having one of those small talks with my friend and it went to politics of course. We started talking about issues that were brought to knowledge by the general public in many places regarding the Malaysian general election. There is this huge issue of unfairness, and of course.. everyone heard of the blackouts that took place. Apparently a whole lot of it was just puffed up conspiracy theories to conspire against the government. But at the same time, the 2 of us came to acknowledge that there has to be a certain element of truth to the news that was provided because people just don't cook up stories out of no-where to spread. There has to be a certain amount of truth to it no matter how small the truth is, so we both concluded that in some rural areas where communication is a lot worse than it usually is, it might have happened.
The point is, where there is an area that requires change that someone else is convicted about while we are not and probably not in agreement with as well, we will automatically shunt him off and label him as misguided. And when that happens, a whole new area of vision and progress just gets destroyed like that.
Some of the things that I noticed people experiences or struggle with that causes misunderstandings of such.
1) bad communication skills
be it that the person is bad with his language or just bad at expressing themselves, this would be one of the largest reasons why people misunderstood each other. I personally experienced a lot of it. And it can arise from a lot of reasons. Bad language command, fear, especially when wanting to impress another. Somehow ideas just won't flow from a person to another simply because the person explaining the idea is really bad at it.
2.) reputation
The circumstance of my local government represents the best example to this. Over the years, corruption has painted a strongly demented image of the government resulting in the people interpreting all the actions of the government as bad. As a result of that, all the actions of the government is now interpreted by everyone as having a corrupted vision, or not vision at all. let alone a conviction.
3.) Pride and ego
Some people just have their heads so puffed up that they now fail to see the works and ministry of others around them no matter how clearly explained.
Alright. So how does one overcome all these to bring a vision across to another person? After all, if people are really that impossible to work with, that leadership would be a sector people would not bother to venture into because it has little returns.
Patience. The maturing person will sooner or later come to a stage of maturity that would enable them to see the big picture which they currently can't see with their level of maturity. Painful it is to practice the enduring patience of waiting for that maturity or even teaching them to be that mature. I found it a delightfully rewarding to bring someone up to a greater level of Godly maturity, but that apparently I realised, is a calling that not everyone is meant to be following .
Love. what truely is the hardest is loving someone more than you love yourself. This however is not a chose-able thing to do, but a requirement for all who are Christians. But at the same time, having been empowered by God, should not be something that is thought of as impossible to practice.
Slowing down. Slow down to hear. Speak less. My dad who is someone regarded by everyone he works with and the church as well, as a person who no one should have a problem with. My church leaders and his co-workers use him as a benchmark to identify people who are difficult to work with. How do they do that? Anyone who cannot work with my dad is a person with bad character. I approached by dad and ask him how to speak to people and understand people better. His answer to me has always been the same till today. Listen to what other people are saying. Don't always want to talk about yourself. It has been an advice that I found hard to follow, but greatly beneficial in following
Monday, August 26, 2013
Sunday, August 18, 2013
identifying the egoistics
Self-centered- which results in being
-selfish
-intolerant
-indifferent
-ignorant
-unkind
-lazy
low-self-esteem- which results in being
-self assuring
-self confident
-self righteous
-desiring independence
-suspicious (contributing factor)
-rash
-arrogant
-judgmental
-workaholic (tendency)
Ashamed- which results in being
-defensive
-suspicious
-crafty (contributing factor)
-permissive
-selfish
-intolerant
-indifferent
-ignorant
-unkind
-lazy
low-self-esteem- which results in being
-self assuring
-self confident
-self righteous
-desiring independence
-suspicious (contributing factor)
-rash
-arrogant
-judgmental
-workaholic (tendency)
Ashamed- which results in being
-defensive
-suspicious
-crafty (contributing factor)
-permissive
Thursday, August 15, 2013
When faith wears thin
Allow me to ask this question. Which comes first. Fear or the losing of faith? Or do you start doubting and mistrusting someone first, then only start losing faith in them?
For me, I realise everything starts small, and always a compromise. Oh, how I grief God with my compromising ways. It usually starts with a "alright, this is the last time I will be doing this, or a this will be the only time I don't do this, and then the escalation starts from there, increasing ridiculously in the omission count, or exponentially in things that I should not be doing. Purity has always been, and now remains to be an area that I never won a fight in. What more to know that on top of sucking so bad at this fight, people around me does not seem to, or rather, my peers never seem to have any trouble with this area. Not as bad as me at least. That frustrates me the most because now, its hard not to see inferiority in myself. Gosh writing this is hard. I hope no one really sees this. (haha. how impossible is that)
Have you ever been though the moments when you know your just lukewarm. Your not among those "elites", yet your not among the "trash" either. Often. Often do I find it hard to share/ select a friend to be close to.
For me, I realise everything starts small, and always a compromise. Oh, how I grief God with my compromising ways. It usually starts with a "alright, this is the last time I will be doing this, or a this will be the only time I don't do this, and then the escalation starts from there, increasing ridiculously in the omission count, or exponentially in things that I should not be doing. Purity has always been, and now remains to be an area that I never won a fight in. What more to know that on top of sucking so bad at this fight, people around me does not seem to, or rather, my peers never seem to have any trouble with this area. Not as bad as me at least. That frustrates me the most because now, its hard not to see inferiority in myself. Gosh writing this is hard. I hope no one really sees this. (haha. how impossible is that)
Have you ever been though the moments when you know your just lukewarm. Your not among those "elites", yet your not among the "trash" either. Often. Often do I find it hard to share/ select a friend to be close to.
Monday, August 12, 2013
Genesis
Again, I have completed the bible from cover to cover. Each time I complete it, I feel like I have finished a whole huge achievement and want to share my success with others around me. What a mile stone I went on. Quite hard it has been though, finding people who would share my joy. Probably God is teaching me to find contentment in his lone, sole applause.
Anyway, since one has completed reading the bible from cover to cover, what does one do next? re-read it again from cover to cover. All the way back to genesis.
This time, as I re-embark on a new journey to finish the bible from cover to cover, I am looking at the bible differently again. Probably because I am more honest to myself, as well as more knowing and understanding towards myself, I realise I tend to treat genesis not a book as it should be.
When you read the bible, can you get the emotions that runs through it as well? Can you get the feelings that God felt when you go through each event and moment in history in the eyes of God?
I used to avoid reading genesis for many reasons. 1 because the idea that there is nothing I can learn from it was greatly planted in my head. That everything there is to be learned is already thought in the rest of the books. The other reason is because genesis always felt like a book of tragedy. Especially upon reaching the story of Noah, it feels like you can see the sorrow that went through God. Nothing beats the pain of destroying something you love.
At the same time, while the people of God turns their face against his, God in love does not turn away, but creates routes for them. Seeing how God puts up with them, while knowing that they are intentionally running away and angering him is very saddening. Yet in his mercy, he creates ways and kindness for the purpose of sustaining them and hopefully, guide them back.
Going through Genesis again allows me to feel the pain that God feels regarding creating something that he loves so bad that he wants to bring it/he,she to a whole new place and purpose of life each time, which each moment being better than the previous, then having to change its destiny to being destroyed. It seems so not logical that many people stop believing because they cannot accept the premise that Someone with so much love can also destroy. People forget the inevitability of consequence. In the world of justice and righteousness that we seek, we are actually asking God to kill us.
I pray that at the end of every reading of Genesis, we grow more compassionate and merciful to the people around us.
Anyway, since one has completed reading the bible from cover to cover, what does one do next? re-read it again from cover to cover. All the way back to genesis.
This time, as I re-embark on a new journey to finish the bible from cover to cover, I am looking at the bible differently again. Probably because I am more honest to myself, as well as more knowing and understanding towards myself, I realise I tend to treat genesis not a book as it should be.
When you read the bible, can you get the emotions that runs through it as well? Can you get the feelings that God felt when you go through each event and moment in history in the eyes of God?
I used to avoid reading genesis for many reasons. 1 because the idea that there is nothing I can learn from it was greatly planted in my head. That everything there is to be learned is already thought in the rest of the books. The other reason is because genesis always felt like a book of tragedy. Especially upon reaching the story of Noah, it feels like you can see the sorrow that went through God. Nothing beats the pain of destroying something you love.
At the same time, while the people of God turns their face against his, God in love does not turn away, but creates routes for them. Seeing how God puts up with them, while knowing that they are intentionally running away and angering him is very saddening. Yet in his mercy, he creates ways and kindness for the purpose of sustaining them and hopefully, guide them back.
Going through Genesis again allows me to feel the pain that God feels regarding creating something that he loves so bad that he wants to bring it/he,she to a whole new place and purpose of life each time, which each moment being better than the previous, then having to change its destiny to being destroyed. It seems so not logical that many people stop believing because they cannot accept the premise that Someone with so much love can also destroy. People forget the inevitability of consequence. In the world of justice and righteousness that we seek, we are actually asking God to kill us.
I pray that at the end of every reading of Genesis, we grow more compassionate and merciful to the people around us.
Sunday, August 11, 2013
Shame
It diminishes one, but not in a humbling way. Listing a few words that will explain it all
- lost of self worth
- no face
- fear
- defensive
- compromise
- unforgiving
- lost
Now, where was that "magic" formula I found...
- lost of self worth
- no face
- fear
- defensive
- compromise
- unforgiving
- lost
Now, where was that "magic" formula I found...
Thursday, August 8, 2013
Man Shall not live on bread alone..
I used to never really understood what does this verse really meant and I kinda found it curious what does Jesus really meant when he mentioned this verse. Surely he does not mean that we do not need to eat to live. If he meant that with faith we can get through life without eating, then I don't just find that hard to believe, I would find myself in a position of being hard to accept it as well.
These days, morning seems to be more and more different to me. Hunger seems to affect me more in the morning than any other times. In fact, my mood changes when I am hungry. Due to my cravings for food, I tend to become a different person. Fearful, rash, mean, unpolished. When I am hungry, I find that that is the period of time when my mind struggles most to do things that pleases God. Its like a senseless me, and when I regain my senses after eating, I start to regret all that I said and all that I have done. It used to be when I have just woke up from my sleep, I will be really grumpy and mean to the people around me. The ones who would noticed this sooner than later would be my family members. God knows how many times they had to put up with my grumpy side.
Confronted by God, I knew I cannot let such circumstances make me sin against God. In fact, I cannot let any circumstances allow me to sin against God for I am fully equipped to please God in every circumstances. Thats when the bible really spoke to me. Men shall not live on bread alone, but by every word from the mouth of God. The word of God is and will be the only thing I rely on in the future. God forbid it that I rely on bread to go about not sinning.
These days, morning seems to be more and more different to me. Hunger seems to affect me more in the morning than any other times. In fact, my mood changes when I am hungry. Due to my cravings for food, I tend to become a different person. Fearful, rash, mean, unpolished. When I am hungry, I find that that is the period of time when my mind struggles most to do things that pleases God. Its like a senseless me, and when I regain my senses after eating, I start to regret all that I said and all that I have done. It used to be when I have just woke up from my sleep, I will be really grumpy and mean to the people around me. The ones who would noticed this sooner than later would be my family members. God knows how many times they had to put up with my grumpy side.
Confronted by God, I knew I cannot let such circumstances make me sin against God. In fact, I cannot let any circumstances allow me to sin against God for I am fully equipped to please God in every circumstances. Thats when the bible really spoke to me. Men shall not live on bread alone, but by every word from the mouth of God. The word of God is and will be the only thing I rely on in the future. God forbid it that I rely on bread to go about not sinning.
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
from the books written by Paul, to 2nd Peter, to 1st John
I don't know about you, but if you do noticed, there have been extensive references of the human perceptions and tendencies as lusting of the flesh. 3 of the most quoted book writers of the bible writing about one same issue and actually dwelling on it extensively in all 3 books. All 3 authors did not specify it to be one specific sin that is being of great trouble. Curiously, unlike what was dealt with in the old testaments, which was pride, the new testament equated this human desires to carnal human desires. Carnal intentions. Carnal human activities. Any desire of humankind which can be associated with the world would be regarded as worldly. Any desire which intends to profit from the world, and enjoy it, is regarded as a carnal lustful desire which should be purged. With this, I can understand how did it lead the general population to start having perspectives that the bible does not encourages marriage, that the bible does not encourages relationships.
The 3 authors then proceeded to establishing the case of total dependence. Total dependence on God for emotional stability, direction and enjoyment. Total dependence on God for all our wants and our needs. It interest me to no end to note how much God wants to be involved in our most minute wants and desires.
I never really understood what it really meant when God used to say I am a jealous God. Or rather, I did know what it meant, but never really understood what depth was he referring to, or how much depending on God really meant.
A lot of times, if not most of the times, I find that depending on God in my life meant that I would be doing the things I want in the way that I won't want it done or would never believed would work. The curious thing is there are, if not a lot of times that God would not work because of lack of belief. He wants us to allow him to do things his way in obtaining the things we want, but at the same time coming in full belief and acceptance to the way he intends to carry it out.
I admit that this area is one of the areas I am terribly weak at. Learning to trust God, learning to allow God. Faith has never been a simple thing for me, and it is still a hard button to push.
Finally. All 3 authors dwelled on grace exceptionally heavily. As much as how much we fail to meet the criteria set by God, More grace is being given and will be given by him to see that you still can find him waiting.
The 3 authors then proceeded to establishing the case of total dependence. Total dependence on God for emotional stability, direction and enjoyment. Total dependence on God for all our wants and our needs. It interest me to no end to note how much God wants to be involved in our most minute wants and desires.
I never really understood what it really meant when God used to say I am a jealous God. Or rather, I did know what it meant, but never really understood what depth was he referring to, or how much depending on God really meant.
A lot of times, if not most of the times, I find that depending on God in my life meant that I would be doing the things I want in the way that I won't want it done or would never believed would work. The curious thing is there are, if not a lot of times that God would not work because of lack of belief. He wants us to allow him to do things his way in obtaining the things we want, but at the same time coming in full belief and acceptance to the way he intends to carry it out.
I admit that this area is one of the areas I am terribly weak at. Learning to trust God, learning to allow God. Faith has never been a simple thing for me, and it is still a hard button to push.
Finally. All 3 authors dwelled on grace exceptionally heavily. As much as how much we fail to meet the criteria set by God, More grace is being given and will be given by him to see that you still can find him waiting.
Friday, August 2, 2013
grandpa's story
Today my grandparents in their joy decided spontaneously to throw a dinner for me as a sign of their joy for my return as well as obtaining a 2nd upper classification for my degree. Ah. Its been so long since I tasted a properly cooked Malaysian dish. Pleasures and luxury are all at my feet and I am enjoying every moment of them!
Then came the moment when my grandpa started sharing all the stories of what happened among his friends and the people he helped with the connections of his. Of the many stories that he threw out, this one caught my attention like the snap of a finger.
Alright. this man that my grandpa talked about has no good credentials. But the focus is not on him. So here is the story as per how I heard it.
This one particular man, had an affair against his wife with a china doll. The matter went totally out of hand, and he divorced his wife in order to be together with this new girlfriend from china. Originally, he had a really high paying job in Singapore as a chef. His pay was a 5 figure sum. Really really good pay. He then left his job to be with this girl from china. Little did he know that that girl was only all out to spend every single cent he has, which she did. Upon finishing up every single cent on him, she then ordered him to go and rob someone, which he stupidly did.
Being not experienced as being a crook, he panicked so very easily at the first sight of the girl he robbed screaming. What happened next was quite funny. He panicked so hard that he gave the girl back everything he took, but it was too late because the police came and took him into custody.
At the court, he did another really silly thing due to ego. Being to ashamed to approach his parents for help, he decided to enter the trials without legal assistance, thus going to trial without a lawyer.His charges was in fact too high to justify such a move. As I would call it, a typical chinese school brat, he got all too scared in the police interogation and start giving out information to please the police. The police did not intend to play nice with him. The chief got 8 other policeman to give him the "good cop, bad cop" routine without the good cop. The trial ended in him being sentenced to get 6 lashes and 16 years in prison. The police then called his parents and immediate family members to inform them of his being in prison. The family panicked upon hearing as well, and imediately called my grandpa to help them.
Proper legal aid would only help reduce the sentence, but not quash it. The lawyer that my grandpa seeked out to help them did a very "unclean move" He went to the prosecution, and got them to throw of the case through a big bribe. This man is now clean in terms of registration.
The account is very unsettling, and I personally would want the guy dead.
Then came the moment when my grandpa started sharing all the stories of what happened among his friends and the people he helped with the connections of his. Of the many stories that he threw out, this one caught my attention like the snap of a finger.
Alright. this man that my grandpa talked about has no good credentials. But the focus is not on him. So here is the story as per how I heard it.
This one particular man, had an affair against his wife with a china doll. The matter went totally out of hand, and he divorced his wife in order to be together with this new girlfriend from china. Originally, he had a really high paying job in Singapore as a chef. His pay was a 5 figure sum. Really really good pay. He then left his job to be with this girl from china. Little did he know that that girl was only all out to spend every single cent he has, which she did. Upon finishing up every single cent on him, she then ordered him to go and rob someone, which he stupidly did.
Being not experienced as being a crook, he panicked so very easily at the first sight of the girl he robbed screaming. What happened next was quite funny. He panicked so hard that he gave the girl back everything he took, but it was too late because the police came and took him into custody.
At the court, he did another really silly thing due to ego. Being to ashamed to approach his parents for help, he decided to enter the trials without legal assistance, thus going to trial without a lawyer.His charges was in fact too high to justify such a move. As I would call it, a typical chinese school brat, he got all too scared in the police interogation and start giving out information to please the police. The police did not intend to play nice with him. The chief got 8 other policeman to give him the "good cop, bad cop" routine without the good cop. The trial ended in him being sentenced to get 6 lashes and 16 years in prison. The police then called his parents and immediate family members to inform them of his being in prison. The family panicked upon hearing as well, and imediately called my grandpa to help them.
Proper legal aid would only help reduce the sentence, but not quash it. The lawyer that my grandpa seeked out to help them did a very "unclean move" He went to the prosecution, and got them to throw of the case through a big bribe. This man is now clean in terms of registration.
The account is very unsettling, and I personally would want the guy dead.
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