A bit of a change of pace. Since lately I have trouble waking up. Can't miss devotion no? So todays done at night.
Tell me about upset, anger, frustration, despair... All those feelings that are too familiar when dealing with people. Especially on close proximity level. Hurt, broken trust, surely you all know how it feels to be taken advantage of, especially when that person knows how you "tick", thus using that knowledge against your advantage.
What happens after this is a terrible struggle to learn to trust again, love again, and fight anger and hate. I too have my fair share of learning to love other people. Especially those who have wronged me gravely. With hate as the simple little game that propels the urge for vengeance and unforgiveness. I have actually over the past years handled this area really badly. I look at myself, and I realised that there are people whom I do not wish to see being found in a church, thus wishing eternal damnation over them. Not to mention the temptation to want to see them fail, to pray over that their life be an eternal failure. There are those whom I dread knowing.
The Lord however hates this mindset of anger. To him all man are equal in creation. The more I read through Corinthians, the more i see the potential of how sinful a human can be. But at the same time, I also see how graceful God can be. Abundant with his grace and mercy. Probably one day, such anger will no longer affect me and I shall also be able to show the same kindness and mercy to others.
Friday, June 28, 2013
Thursday, June 27, 2013
2nd upper
I obtain 2nd upper in my law degree!!! ^^ celebration. But first things first, all thanks to God, for without him, this would have turned out ugly. I had a horrible break up followed by horrible revelations and news 20 days before my examinations. I expected myself to fail, but God was there, granting me clear mind, strength and grace. Evidence that God has power over everything. Even emotions. 20 days to recover and be ready for an exam! This 2nd upper is not my work, but the work of God. Also, not to mention the church friends who granted me support, and most of all, my parents for prompting me and supporting me all the way through moments where I really wanted to give up.
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Morning devotion (23th june)
For those who knows me, if you actually read my devotions carefully, you can tell of the plights that I have to keep on going through on a daily basis.
2 Corinthians 4:2 "But we have renounced the hidden things of shame, not walking in craftiness nor handling the word of God deceitfully, but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God.
Do you hate sin? Do you have a peculiar sin you hate most? These few days, I dread having to go to the city. It brings me to face the sin that I struggle with the most. With every girl in town dressed as though cloth has become scarce, I could barely even keep my eyes to myself. With every girl dressing as though the world has to see their bra size, I could barely even keep lust out of my mind, and I really hate it so bad that I rather have my eyes pulled out each time I start thinking like that. I REALLY HATE IT.
2 Corinthians 4:2 "But we have renounced the hidden things of shame, not walking in craftiness nor handling the word of God deceitfully, but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God.
Do you hate sin? Do you have a peculiar sin you hate most? These few days, I dread having to go to the city. It brings me to face the sin that I struggle with the most. With every girl in town dressed as though cloth has become scarce, I could barely even keep my eyes to myself. With every girl dressing as though the world has to see their bra size, I could barely even keep lust out of my mind, and I really hate it so bad that I rather have my eyes pulled out each time I start thinking like that. I REALLY HATE IT.
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
morning devotion
I often forgot how to preach to non-believers. These few days I have come into contact with more and more of them around, and I always find myself dreading every moment of it. I don't know what position to stand. I have to make the proposition of where God and Christ stands regarding sin clear to them, but at the same time grace. Then at the same time, it is love rather, then any other things that is most important to be shown. And most of the time, I am so caught up in inducing my doctrines and fundamentalism rather than trying to love the other person. Woe is me.
Today as I read the bible again during my quiet time, God reminded me of another thing that I often do. Move around being stuck in the old testament while everyone is moving around in the new. Which is correct? Neither. God wants to by the new, bring us back to genesis. Different from returning to the old testament. Returning to genesis after salvation is returning to the core and fundamental purpose of men. While returning to the old testament is following the law which brings condemnation. So often do I find myself not just doing to others, but because I also do to myself! Living in the law too often, thus condemning everything, everyone for wrongs that is already forgiven. Do I then also condemn myself? Yes.
The more I know Christ, the more I realised how much I lack the art of showing mercy. The more I want to learn how to be compassionate, kind and merciful. To the tax collectors, he was most loving and kind that they changed their ways, what kind of mindset must I change and have to learn to have mercy on those I scorn and curse. What mindset my I charge to stop me from scorning and cursing people. How do i stop thinking that by knowing scriptures and God, I am holier than others. One needs Christ more than ever.
The most difficult part of scripture that I read today is 2 corinthians 3: 14-16. How often do I wish that some of my closes friends comes to saving knowledge. Even more so do I wish that they do so today. But unless they take the step of faith first, they will know nothing. God, all is in your hands.
Today as I read the bible again during my quiet time, God reminded me of another thing that I often do. Move around being stuck in the old testament while everyone is moving around in the new. Which is correct? Neither. God wants to by the new, bring us back to genesis. Different from returning to the old testament. Returning to genesis after salvation is returning to the core and fundamental purpose of men. While returning to the old testament is following the law which brings condemnation. So often do I find myself not just doing to others, but because I also do to myself! Living in the law too often, thus condemning everything, everyone for wrongs that is already forgiven. Do I then also condemn myself? Yes.
The more I know Christ, the more I realised how much I lack the art of showing mercy. The more I want to learn how to be compassionate, kind and merciful. To the tax collectors, he was most loving and kind that they changed their ways, what kind of mindset must I change and have to learn to have mercy on those I scorn and curse. What mindset my I charge to stop me from scorning and cursing people. How do i stop thinking that by knowing scriptures and God, I am holier than others. One needs Christ more than ever.
The most difficult part of scripture that I read today is 2 corinthians 3: 14-16. How often do I wish that some of my closes friends comes to saving knowledge. Even more so do I wish that they do so today. But unless they take the step of faith first, they will know nothing. God, all is in your hands.
Friday, June 14, 2013
morning devotion
Today. I have no idea why. And it definitely did not come from God. Woke up feeling upset, frustrated, helpless, used and played all at the same time. I could hardly bring myself to the computer to do my devotion. All I wanted to was lie in bed and curl up in my blanket and wallow in my sorrow. I remembered what my youth leader used to say. Never give yourself a reason to not worship God. At any state your in, he always demands your worship. So rebuking my own heart, knowing that it is deceitful, I decided to worship. And guess what. though the feelings didn't all go away for personal reasons, Almost all of it left. I can certainly say it is not from God.
In times like this, the first resort that is so tempting to go hunting for is human ears and companionship. Oh, back to that stupid desire for someone to listen to my plight. I knew within my heart that God is saying, tell me first before you go telling anyone else. The curious thing is after telling God, I won't need to tell other people. But after telling other people, I won't be telling God. I really had to hold my head together, and push forward in prayer. It felt like I am trying to break down a tree. The whole pushing was nothing but a war of perseverance. And did the Lord came to the rescue? Yes He did.
A curious thing about us is how much we know and yet do not know about our salvation. Do you know that the solution to all your problems is your salvation? Knowing is 1 thing, believing is another. But yet without believing, you will never "know"
The lord today took time, and considerable amount to remind me about a few things and teach me a few more about my salvation.
Do you know that your salvation is actually God standing in the face of death saying "Pick on someone your own size, ME!" Do you fear death? When students of a kungfu master lost against someone in a battle, who do they turn to. The master. And the master will come and heal, as well as protect them. Challenging their opponent. " I will be your opponent. Leave my students alone!" Students will usually hide behind the master, and come out to join him in his victory when he has won. My Christian life is really stupid. My boss must come to save me when I least know I need saving, and when he is fighting my opponent for me, I will rush in at the worse moments possible. Most of the time, we feel God holding us back and we resent that because we do not see the monster he is fighting. How arrogant and stupid would we be if we think we can face that monster alone.
Being still is letting your salvation take its course. The hardest thing to do during trouble is be still. Yet all the cool people are most still when in the face of trouble. Calm, composed and cool. Thats why they are cool. Today I must learn to ditch my worries to a more reliable source.
Premeditation is a dangerous thing to do. What you let your mind feed on before meditating on anything will affect you dangerously. What we do not realise is we are always premeditating something. Having something preoccupy our minds.
The day when none of this corrupt source of thinking affects me, I will be more than overjoyed.
In times like this, the first resort that is so tempting to go hunting for is human ears and companionship. Oh, back to that stupid desire for someone to listen to my plight. I knew within my heart that God is saying, tell me first before you go telling anyone else. The curious thing is after telling God, I won't need to tell other people. But after telling other people, I won't be telling God. I really had to hold my head together, and push forward in prayer. It felt like I am trying to break down a tree. The whole pushing was nothing but a war of perseverance. And did the Lord came to the rescue? Yes He did.
A curious thing about us is how much we know and yet do not know about our salvation. Do you know that the solution to all your problems is your salvation? Knowing is 1 thing, believing is another. But yet without believing, you will never "know"
The lord today took time, and considerable amount to remind me about a few things and teach me a few more about my salvation.
Do you know that your salvation is actually God standing in the face of death saying "Pick on someone your own size, ME!" Do you fear death? When students of a kungfu master lost against someone in a battle, who do they turn to. The master. And the master will come and heal, as well as protect them. Challenging their opponent. " I will be your opponent. Leave my students alone!" Students will usually hide behind the master, and come out to join him in his victory when he has won. My Christian life is really stupid. My boss must come to save me when I least know I need saving, and when he is fighting my opponent for me, I will rush in at the worse moments possible. Most of the time, we feel God holding us back and we resent that because we do not see the monster he is fighting. How arrogant and stupid would we be if we think we can face that monster alone.
Being still is letting your salvation take its course. The hardest thing to do during trouble is be still. Yet all the cool people are most still when in the face of trouble. Calm, composed and cool. Thats why they are cool. Today I must learn to ditch my worries to a more reliable source.
Premeditation is a dangerous thing to do. What you let your mind feed on before meditating on anything will affect you dangerously. What we do not realise is we are always premeditating something. Having something preoccupy our minds.
The day when none of this corrupt source of thinking affects me, I will be more than overjoyed.
Thursday, June 13, 2013
morning devotion 13 june
The start of this passage took me by complete surprise. Paul opened by defending his calling. I often wondered what kind of position would I ended up taking. I can so easily go round telling others that I am a lawyer to be, but I find it extremely, strangely hard to tell anyone I am a bible study teacher (was and still want to be) So much floods into my mind when I want to say I know how to teach the bible. Paul defends his calling in the most interesting fashion. One that I actually thought of doing before in the past, but never had the guts to used. Paul pointed out to the people listening to him speaking that they are the seal that clarifies his apostleship. Meaning they are the fruit of his labour. Amusing stand that was taken. I would definitely have not the "thing" in me to tell people I am ministering to that they are the fruit of my labour for I feel not worthy of it.
the next passage took me by another surprise. The right to refrain from working. I gotten really amused by what Paul said. Right to have a wife, right to eat and drink. One often forgets the reason why God had us created and one commonly forget that we are not robots created by God to be fitted into a factory. Today, I am reminded of the way God created the garden of Eden. made for the enjoyment of mankind. The creation of mankind suddenly makes more sense, especially why God put them on earth. We man often forget about fun because of the in build design to work and protect, as well as being a visionary and cultivator. It made us one tracked minded. I admit we cannot multitask to a great extend. Women. Please don't take it against us when it looks like we do not appreciate what you do. We really do. We just have to switch between different modes of brain too often with you. ie logic to feelings or feelings to logic. Unlike you women, we are wired with decision making desires. We are not dictators, we are just wired with parts that makes us want to think in facts and bottom lines, thus when you ask us to feel something, it takes a bit of a while to re tune our own mind. We are not as adaptable as you. Be patient with us. Anyway, back to the argument. Enjoyment.
Often we find ourselves at the "Martha" position. Working to please or just simply working. Working in my context is not the literal working for money, but simply just doing something that feels productive with a must kind of mentality. For example, making a guest feel welcome at home by offering food, drinks, a seat. It is not wrong, but the alternative is just talking to the person.
Relax. This word seems more and more foreign these days. We cannot relax ourselves, and neither do we expect others to relax around us. I was sitting for my exam a long while ago. And next to me was a girl writting so furiously that in 3 hours she finished using up 20 pages for an essay! She later then approached me and ask why was I so relaxed. My writing speed was not fast at all, and she note that I did have time to check back my paper, and watch the clock.
I look at myself. Am I any different from that girl yet? I definitely am not to that extend of anxiousness, but how much to an extend do I do anything else with such anxiousness that I forget to trust and relax, and enjoy the things God expects me to enjoy. One of the things that amuses me most is the way how people travel. My parents would want to rush to a peculiar place. Then relax and enjoy there on the spot. My grandparents have a different doctrine. Enjoy the journey. And when you reached, rushingly complete everything. I laugh at them once. But now I look at my life. I don't sit back and enjoy the journey, and when I reached the destination, I just want to complete it and move on to the next assignment. Curious is it not? God created us to be fun loving creatures. Evidence is the trees, nature, animals, people, love ones he put around us to enjoy. Often, only when it is gone do we enjoy it. and then we cursed our mistake of forgetting to enjoy our friendship or company, but not realising that a drastic correction in our lifestyle is needed.
the next passage took me by another surprise. The right to refrain from working. I gotten really amused by what Paul said. Right to have a wife, right to eat and drink. One often forgets the reason why God had us created and one commonly forget that we are not robots created by God to be fitted into a factory. Today, I am reminded of the way God created the garden of Eden. made for the enjoyment of mankind. The creation of mankind suddenly makes more sense, especially why God put them on earth. We man often forget about fun because of the in build design to work and protect, as well as being a visionary and cultivator. It made us one tracked minded. I admit we cannot multitask to a great extend. Women. Please don't take it against us when it looks like we do not appreciate what you do. We really do. We just have to switch between different modes of brain too often with you. ie logic to feelings or feelings to logic. Unlike you women, we are wired with decision making desires. We are not dictators, we are just wired with parts that makes us want to think in facts and bottom lines, thus when you ask us to feel something, it takes a bit of a while to re tune our own mind. We are not as adaptable as you. Be patient with us. Anyway, back to the argument. Enjoyment.
Often we find ourselves at the "Martha" position. Working to please or just simply working. Working in my context is not the literal working for money, but simply just doing something that feels productive with a must kind of mentality. For example, making a guest feel welcome at home by offering food, drinks, a seat. It is not wrong, but the alternative is just talking to the person.
Relax. This word seems more and more foreign these days. We cannot relax ourselves, and neither do we expect others to relax around us. I was sitting for my exam a long while ago. And next to me was a girl writting so furiously that in 3 hours she finished using up 20 pages for an essay! She later then approached me and ask why was I so relaxed. My writing speed was not fast at all, and she note that I did have time to check back my paper, and watch the clock.
I look at myself. Am I any different from that girl yet? I definitely am not to that extend of anxiousness, but how much to an extend do I do anything else with such anxiousness that I forget to trust and relax, and enjoy the things God expects me to enjoy. One of the things that amuses me most is the way how people travel. My parents would want to rush to a peculiar place. Then relax and enjoy there on the spot. My grandparents have a different doctrine. Enjoy the journey. And when you reached, rushingly complete everything. I laugh at them once. But now I look at my life. I don't sit back and enjoy the journey, and when I reached the destination, I just want to complete it and move on to the next assignment. Curious is it not? God created us to be fun loving creatures. Evidence is the trees, nature, animals, people, love ones he put around us to enjoy. Often, only when it is gone do we enjoy it. and then we cursed our mistake of forgetting to enjoy our friendship or company, but not realising that a drastic correction in our lifestyle is needed.
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Morning Devotion 12th June
Conscience. I always wondered what was the relationship that a conscience had with the holy spirit. In the same way I trust the holy spirit, I trust my conscience. In fact, it be most accurate to say that the holy spirit is my conscience.
Was there ever a time you would wonder if your guts is telling you something that you should not follow? I too wondered about people who have yet to receive the holy spirit. What kind of conscience do they have. To what level must one be corrupt to lose the holy spirit? Then I look, and also realised that without the holy spirit, one's monster gets truly unleashed.
"We are all monsters." This were the words of my mentor before I left for my degree. I knew the accuracy of that statement. At least when I look at myself, I see its reality. I am a monster. what good others see is just a suppression of who I truly am on the inside. Volatile, Rash, Arrogant, Lustful. At times I am like a super villain that people see on TV. It was one of the moments when your mind agrees and 100 thoughts comes flying into your head at the a split second making an agreeing stand to the statement made. The next thing any guy would ask for would be a solution. What can solve my problem. "Forgive yourself. As how God forgive you. Learn to love yourself." In all sense, I barely even could bring myself to agree, but that day, somehow it made a lot of sense. And I decided to hunt and understand what it really meant. Now such words no longer seem foreign to me, I understand what it really means.
What happened at the moment of receiving the solution was my own conscience opened up, and I could for an instance understand the mysteries of heaven. Was it hard? In truth, all you need to do is surrender and submit, then the powers of heaven is unlocked for you.
I always wondered why women filled the church. Where did the Godly man go? Do you know why man was created first and women 2nd? It has nothing to do with rights. The more I dig deep into genesis to study the original purpose of man, the more the beautiful plan of God really captivates me. Man first came into the world and God taught man his law (this is a simplified way of looking at it. there is way more to discuss about in this area) God then fashioned woman according to the body of man to give him the perfect companion. Gods idea. Not mine. Note that it was MAN'S DUTY to teach the women God's law. God didn't teach her his law. THE MAN DID.
There is no inferiority between man and women. Once we start separating purpose from rights and status, we become more fulfilled. Who there can I ask would tell me why a person doing a peculiar job is inferior to another? the only difference that separates you from him is talent and time. In the bible, the parable of the talents. 3 man. different talents given. Note. God didn't specify who was ranked higher before giving them each talents. God just gave them and implied to them that he expects investments. The trouble with being the person with only 1 talent is comparison. How much can one lost from his purpose of comparison. I also noted that when one is comparing himself with another, signals does not fly up as warning, there might be no signals for all we know.
Was there ever a time you would wonder if your guts is telling you something that you should not follow? I too wondered about people who have yet to receive the holy spirit. What kind of conscience do they have. To what level must one be corrupt to lose the holy spirit? Then I look, and also realised that without the holy spirit, one's monster gets truly unleashed.
"We are all monsters." This were the words of my mentor before I left for my degree. I knew the accuracy of that statement. At least when I look at myself, I see its reality. I am a monster. what good others see is just a suppression of who I truly am on the inside. Volatile, Rash, Arrogant, Lustful. At times I am like a super villain that people see on TV. It was one of the moments when your mind agrees and 100 thoughts comes flying into your head at the a split second making an agreeing stand to the statement made. The next thing any guy would ask for would be a solution. What can solve my problem. "Forgive yourself. As how God forgive you. Learn to love yourself." In all sense, I barely even could bring myself to agree, but that day, somehow it made a lot of sense. And I decided to hunt and understand what it really meant. Now such words no longer seem foreign to me, I understand what it really means.
What happened at the moment of receiving the solution was my own conscience opened up, and I could for an instance understand the mysteries of heaven. Was it hard? In truth, all you need to do is surrender and submit, then the powers of heaven is unlocked for you.
I always wondered why women filled the church. Where did the Godly man go? Do you know why man was created first and women 2nd? It has nothing to do with rights. The more I dig deep into genesis to study the original purpose of man, the more the beautiful plan of God really captivates me. Man first came into the world and God taught man his law (this is a simplified way of looking at it. there is way more to discuss about in this area) God then fashioned woman according to the body of man to give him the perfect companion. Gods idea. Not mine. Note that it was MAN'S DUTY to teach the women God's law. God didn't teach her his law. THE MAN DID.
There is no inferiority between man and women. Once we start separating purpose from rights and status, we become more fulfilled. Who there can I ask would tell me why a person doing a peculiar job is inferior to another? the only difference that separates you from him is talent and time. In the bible, the parable of the talents. 3 man. different talents given. Note. God didn't specify who was ranked higher before giving them each talents. God just gave them and implied to them that he expects investments. The trouble with being the person with only 1 talent is comparison. How much can one lost from his purpose of comparison. I also noted that when one is comparing himself with another, signals does not fly up as warning, there might be no signals for all we know.
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