morning devotion

Today. I have no idea why. And it definitely did not come from God. Woke up feeling upset, frustrated, helpless, used and played all at the same time. I could hardly bring myself to the computer to do my devotion. All I wanted to was lie in bed and curl up in my blanket and wallow in my sorrow. I remembered what my youth leader used to say. Never give yourself a reason to not worship God. At any state your in, he always demands your worship. So rebuking my own heart, knowing that it is deceitful, I decided to worship. And guess what. though the feelings didn't all go away for personal reasons, Almost all of it left. I can  certainly say it is not from God.
In times like this, the first resort that is so tempting to go hunting for is human ears and companionship. Oh, back to that stupid desire for someone to listen to my plight. I knew within my heart that God is saying, tell me first before you go telling anyone else. The curious thing is after telling God, I won't need to tell other people. But after telling other people, I won't be telling God. I really had to hold my head together, and push forward in prayer. It felt like I am trying to break down a tree. The whole pushing was nothing but a war of perseverance. And did the Lord came to the rescue? Yes He did.
A curious thing about us is how much we know and yet do not know about our salvation. Do you know that the solution to all your problems is your salvation? Knowing is 1 thing, believing is another. But yet without believing, you will never "know"
The lord today took time, and considerable amount to remind me about a few things and teach me a few more about my salvation.

Do you know that your salvation is actually God standing in the face of death saying "Pick on someone your own size, ME!" Do you fear death? When students of a kungfu master lost against someone in a battle, who do they turn to. The master. And the master will come and heal, as well as protect them. Challenging their opponent. " I will be your opponent. Leave my students alone!" Students will usually hide behind the master, and come out to join him in his victory when he has won. My Christian life is really stupid. My boss must come to save me when I least know I need saving, and when he is fighting my opponent for me, I will rush in at the worse moments possible. Most of the time, we feel God holding us back and we resent that because we do not see the monster he is fighting. How arrogant and stupid would we be if we think we can face that monster alone.
Being still is letting your salvation take its course. The hardest thing to do during trouble is be still. Yet all the cool people are most still when in the face of trouble. Calm, composed and cool. Thats why they are cool. Today I must learn to ditch my worries to a more reliable source.
Premeditation is a dangerous thing to do. What you let your mind feed on before meditating on anything will affect you dangerously. What we do not realise is we are always premeditating something. Having something preoccupy our minds.
The day when none of this corrupt source of thinking affects me, I will be more than overjoyed.