crossroads

This moments probably are ones which when they come, it can't be told which is right and which is wrong. Personally, I struggled to tell between which is Gods direction. Sometimes even after looking back in the past, I do wonder what will happen if the other alternative was taken. Despite not regreting the decision that was made because I could still appreciate the reasonings and the boundaries of that time, I do wonder what would have happened had I decided to prioritise differently. The outcomes was absolutely ambigious. Mostly, till now I cannot tell what would have happened if alternatively, the other reasoning that I had available would have been followed. It sometimes makes me feel like life is a game of chess. Only, I don't just haven't got a plan to checkmate, I haven't even discover the opponent king yet. In fact, I am still discovering a lot of my pieces. Probably do not even realise which piece has left the board. The most confusing part of the game of life is pieces doesn't just leave the board. They come back as well.
In a war game, decisions are usually made knowing the stakes involved, the men you have, and the men he possibly might have. The problem with life is you would probably have trouble even knowing the terrain. There are times where I did feel like I was only left with one pawn in life, when suddenly rooks started appearing out of nowhere, only to vanish again. There are also times when I thought I found my queen, which turns out to be another pawn that I am hopping would be promoted into a queen.
Ah yes. then there is also the element of listening to the voice of God that Christians observe. I personally find it getting harder and harder each day as though I am trying to look for a tread that keeps getting thinner at night. People usually says that as you would get closer to God, his voice gets louder and louder. They don't tell you that as you get closer to God, he does not expect you to stay the same, thus increasing the diffculty of listening adding a more difficult element of faith to it sometimes even changing the whole ball game of faith that I used to play by.
Now. With all these in mind, and also the knowledge that once you chosen, there is no turning back, how is there not a lot of pressure in these decisions.